Little Story

I’m a college student in my 4^th semester majoring in Agriculture. I had experience of doing review and advocate about farmers in Kulon Progo coastal areas. Their land had the iron substances that attract an Australia’s company to request the land from The Palace as the owner of the land. At that time, I collected data by meeting lecturers and related farmers. Until the end of my period, I still couldn’t solve the matter. The obstacles that faced there are included conspiracies and the interests of The Palace. Even lecturers are incapable of doing something because we faced the Yogyakarta’s Palace. Meanwhile, I always haunted by the guilt knowing how they scared if their land will be taken by hearing the sound of vehicle coming. The issue of agrarian legislation seems can’t be solution. What can I do?

I tried to forget this mandate. On my way home from the campus I can only be an audience again. I see an old man walked in his 60’s with his stick. He sold stuffs that made by himself. I’m speechless knowing he’s blind and tried to survive by selling his goods and walking. I realized that I don’t have enough power to help him and just buy one of his stuff. I just hold my breath knowing he hasn’t home for a week because his stuff hasn’t been sold. I feel useless for being college student.

I tried hard to spread this situation in BEM’s meeting. I offered a social project for helping farmers, hawkers, etc. But they rejected my offer because it was unrealistic. It was midnight I went home disappointed. On the street, I saw a middle-aged man brought some bamboo baskets walked staggered along my way. I decided to buy while asking to him. He said, "I can only go home if I could buy rice for my family". Where he slept? he said he sleep wherever. It turns out that he hadn’t come home for a week because no one has bought his goods. I realized, there are no changes I’ve made since one year I joined BEM UGM. It's useless. I think I contributed nothing.

I blame myself. Think hard about how I could help them. Really, I'm not lying. Maybe you’ll think I said nonsense things. But really, this dream is very strong. I don’t have power or money to help farmers; I'm just 4th semester students who have nothing. I feel alive between dreams and reality. I'm lost.